Think back to the beginning.
Think about how it felt on your first date with your current partner.
The excitement you felt, the butterflies, the nerves.
Think about that first kiss.
That can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over- the-fence, World Series kind of stuff. (Yes, that was an It Takes Two, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen reference... get on my level.)
One of the first things I think about from the beginning is how much we talked.
The process of getting to know one another for the first time holds some of my favorite memories.
The endless question and answer sessions that helped us see into the best and worst of each other.
It seems to me that doesn't last, though. Eventually, the questions stop.
But, I'm not the same person I was nearly seven years ago when we first began dating.
So why would the questions end?
To be honest, they shouldn't have.
They just needed to change a little bit.
I know his favorite color, what foods he dislikes, what he is afraid of.
I know the little quirks I have that make him smile. I even know the ones that annoy him.
But we've only been together seven years, and there's still so much more to learn.
I've done you a favor (like the good southern woman I am) and created a list of truly important questions to ask your partner.
Conversation starters, if you will, that will help you understand one another better.
These will help you go deeper into your relationship and know how much you mean to one another and how you affect one another. (Infinitely more helpful than knowing their favorite color is purple).
Do me a favor, find a time where you both are alone and there are no distractions.
Do yourself a favor, and be as open and honest as possible.
I'll start you off easy. They will get a little deeper, and maybe harder, as you go.
1) What did you think when you saw me and/or met me for the first time?
2) Why did you want to ask me or go with me on a date?
3) What made you want to keep dating me?
4) What is your favorite thing about me?
5) When did you know that you first loved me?
6) What do you love about me?
7) What's your favorite thing I do in bed... and do you want more of it? (Keep the novelty of it or nah?)
8) What is one thing I don't do in bed that you wish I did?
9) What's one thing I do that annoys you?
10) What is a pet peeve you have about me?
11) Are you ever afraid to tell me things? Why?
12) Have you ever felt like you hated me? Tell me about it.
13) Have you ever felt like I didn't love you or want to be with you? What was happening that made you feel or think that?
14)When you get mad at me, what do you feel like doing (i.e. talk to me about it, yell at me, shut down and not talk to me at all)?
15)What happens with you when I yell at you or shut down when we are fighting (i.e. how do you feel, what do you think, how do you act)?
16) Have I ever hurt you? If yes, what did I do and why did it hurt?
Some of the answers might be really difficult to talk about.
I'm not going to lie, it might even start an argument. It's okay if this happens!
If you find it hard, then call me!
I'll help you talk through this and so much more! Relationships take work and talking to each other is the hardest part. There's no shame in needing help. That's what I'm here for!