Loving yourself is a process.
Knowing your worth can be an even longer process.
Sometimes a life long process.
But, I want you to know that you deserve to look at yourself in the mirror, or simply think about yourself, and feel pride and happiness, and WORTHINESS.
There are a few tips and tricks you can use to find love for yourself and to feel worthy.
First: Make a pros and cons list. No one is perfect, so you will always find cons about you. BUT if you allow yourself to truly take stock, there will ALWAYS be pros!
Second: Take a look at the cons list.
What is really there? Are they things about your body? Your personality? Your character?
If they are body image issues, I want you to ask yourself one question. Am I healthy? If the answer is yes, then throw a middle finger to society for setting an unreasonable standard.
If the answer is "I'm not sure", then set up an appointment to get a physical with your primary care doctor. You deserve to find out if it's society-based or if there are some changes that could potentially be made.
And if the answer is "No, I'm not healthy" then find the areas you need to make changes, and make ONE change a week. Decide to eat healthy once a day or decide to go for a walk once that week. Start small and set do-able goals. Don't focus on the end result because that will take time and we 100% live in an instant gratification world. Focus instead on the changes you are making. Most importantly, find an accountability buddy. We do better when we don't feel like we are alone in it (seriously science has proven this).
If they are character or personality quirks, I want you to ask yourself two questions: "Where is the evidence?" and "Does it make me a bad person?".
It is absolutely so important to critically think about these types of cons. It's so easy to just list it as if it's fact without really giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt.
Look at your con list and SHOW ME THE EVIDENCE (said in the voice of Tom Cruise from Jerry Maguire).
I figured I would include the clip just in case you haven't seen it. Context matters, trust me. : )
Anyways, show me the evidence. Show me what you do, or think, or say that makes that an actual con. More importantly, show yourself.
If you can't find the evidence, good chances are it's not really a con. We have this really great way of putting ourselves down for no good reason at all (and by really great I mean super terrible).
If you can find evidence that it's a con, move on to the second question: "Does it make me a bad person?".
Again, it's so important to check yourself and your thoughts. I truly believe that what you feel is a con more than likely doesn't mean that you are a bad person. And if that's the case, can it truly be a con? Could it possibly mean that it's just your mind playing tricks with you?
If you ask yourself that question and you truly believe it makes you a bad person, then I want you to take that to someone you trust and check yourself with them. Good chances they will tell you that it doesn't make you a bad person.
We don't always see ourselves clearly.
Another REALLY important question to ask yourself here is "Is this con something I created or does it stem from something that was done to me?"
We have a tendency to take the awful things that other people do to us and make it our fault.
If this is the case I want you to scream right now, "IT'S NOT MY FAULT AND THIS IS NOT ME!!!!!". Seriously. Scream it now and who cares who hears you. Good chances are they need to hear it and Lord knows you need to say it!
If for some reason they tell you that it does make you a bad person OR if you just truly feel that despite what anyone else says or thinks that it's a con, then let's make some changes.
Just like earlier, start small and make do-able goals.
The beautiful thing about life and humanity is that we have the power to choose who we are in ANY given moment.
This means that you get an unlimited amount of moments to create and continue your own worth and self-love.
Remember, give yourself the grace and mercy that you give others.
I believe in you and am standing with you in your journey!
Still don't believe it?
I'll tell it to your beautiful, incredible, amazing, face. : )